Aries - Selfish Prick
Taurus - Stubborn Asshole
Gemini - Annoying Attention-Whore
Cancer - Moody Jerk
Leo - Egotistical Douchebag
Virgo - Neurotic Bitch
Libra - Flaky Derelict
Scorpio - Obsessive Twat
Sagittarius - Awkward Fucktard
Capricorn -Greedy Emo
Aquarius - Perverted Psychopath
Pisces - Whiny Bimbo
Probably the most accurate zodiac post on tumblr. Every last bit of it.
there it is again
I am so proud to be a stubborn asshole
Oh, NOW you tell me
Capricorn Characteristics and Profile
(December 22 - January 19)The sure-footed Mountain Goat can climb to higher altitudes than any other mammal. And you sure-footed Capricorns are also well-suited for climbing. Capricorn sets high goals for yourself and then you overcome whatever obstacles may appear between you and the top of your personal mountain. As Capricorn climbs the ladder of success, your ambition pushes you forward. Status can be important to Capricorn and often, at the top of your game, you gain personal satisfaction by knowing that others respect you for what you have accomplished.
Capricorn can dance out on the edge of a cliff, but will never fall. Why? Stability plays an important role, but so does practice. As a typical Capricorn, you may appear reckless, but chances are that your actions will have been very well planned, and probably also rehearsed. Capricorn is always calculating what will happen if you do something. You Capricorns are energetically conservative, only expending enough to get you to where you want to be. No silly impulsive actions for you. This is your best insurance to get to the top of the mountain.
The Capricorn motto might be Milton Berle’s “If opportunity doesn’t knock, then build a door.” But this doesn’t mean that if there are no mountains to climb that you must build the mountain. For you, hardships can be your path to fulfillment, but for the sake of happiness, it would be good for you to learn to appreciate what you have, instead of always striving to reach the next plateau.
Element: EarthEarth signs are naturally practical. In this lifetime we are bound to Earth. There is no escaping the reality around us. The Earth is about as real as it gets; it can be felt, weighed and it has substance. Accordingly, the earth signs base their life on what is real, not what is imagined. Sensation is valued over thoughts or feelings. Earth signs live with their feet on the ground. Others seek their advice because of their basic sensibility. For earth signs, seeing is believing.
The earth of Capricorn is that of foundation and structure. It’s about having a stable base so we don’t build our life on shifting sand. Even the great mountains earth, and if it weren’t for their foundational integrity, we couldn’t climb upon them.
Tenth House: CareerThe Tenth House is the House of the Father. It is where we pursue the outer world, which is often related to our career. This isn’t about our personality. It’s about how the outer world sees us through the role we play in it. It is here, in the Tenth House, that we look to find out about status and recognition.
Key Planet: SaturnSaturn, the ringed planet, is etymologically tied to the word “Satan.” But, as demonstrated in the Tarot, the “Devil Card” is not a bad card. It’s only difficult if we’ve made the deal with the devil that we believe the physical world is all there is. Saturn is the planet of boundaries and limitations. If we succumb to those limitations, we are doomed to live within the laws of cause and effect. But if we do the hard work of spiritual practice, we can be rewarded by the wisdom that exists beyond the material plane. As the key planet for Capricorn, Saturn does symbolize that we get what we deserve. Take shortcuts in life and we’ll meet up with problems later on. But if we do things with integrity, then the rewards will be ours.
Your Biggest Strength: Your ability to overcome obstacles
Your Potential Weakness: Too much work and not enough play
Guys. You guys.
You guys listen.
Capricorns? Fucking. Hot!
Gah damn…. unf…. YOU NEED TO GET BACK HOME NOW!
Scrollin’ through meaningless web pages that aren’t blocked by the county and stumble upon Zodiac pages. Zodiac amuses me, not a religious thing, but it’s interesting.
Reading up and laughing at all the Taurus crap and sitting there like “… heh, that’s true…. heh, so is that…” Which leads me from one sign to another. I start looking up people I know by their birthdays and doing more “heh, true” like comparing Ruger to the Pisces she is, and Jenny the Cancer, and how they all get along with Taurus.
Then I notice the Capricorn and I’m like “Holy shit, I need more Capricorns in my life! Awesome sign is awesome”
So I start researching the Capricorns and their birthdays. I’m really getting into it now. I’m that bored. And it hits me, right in the middle of all the radio chatter. Ludwig’s birthday is January 8th. He’s a friggin’ Capricorn.
And I just sat there, gaping at the screen. It fit him so well, down to the books. It was all so creepy. And then I just started getting so upset. It just keeps falling on me.
I lost everything I’ve ever wanted.
I was hit so hard I had to call a code three for radio silence. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t think. I just shut the door and the stupid window and just sat there trying to keep it together.
I gotta find something to keep my mind off of this. For good. It’s like I’m drowning and forgot how to swim. It’s so painful and it lasts and lasts…
More like “Put ‘em up or shut up” hahaha I like this
"Has One noticeably Untaimed locke of hair"
But ch’yeah…. bill fits. (Man I wish we wore uniforms to work, then I wouldn’t have to worry about what I’m wearing the next day.
Damn u job and forcing me to act like such a girl)