I could sit here and ramble on about my self but that would bore even the most forbearing of us. But allow me to bring you up to speed. I'm just starting to figure out this business most call family -In doing so I've met some pretty amazing people along the way. Come join me as I awkwardly navigate through this conundrum known as life finding family, friends, and a home while trying not to be arrested, lost, or killed in Deutschland. Still learning deutsch alongside my man Ludwig. Let's watch and see what happens -Wir wollen gehen!
your fuckin horoscope
Aries - Selfish Prick
Taurus - Stubborn Asshole
Gemini - Annoying Attention-Whore
Cancer - Moody Jerk
Leo - Egotistical Douchebag
Virgo - Neurotic Bitch
Libra - Flaky Derelict
Scorpio - Obsessive Twat
Sagittarius - Awkward Fucktard
Capricorn -Greedy Emo
Aquarius - Perverted Psychopath
Pisces - Whiny Bimbo
Probably the most accurate zodiac post on tumblr. Every last bit of it.
there it is again
I am so proud to be a stubborn asshole
- Aries: a knife, lots of stab wounds, especially ones in the face- most likely a rage kill. After they were done stabbing you, they'd start ripping you limb from limb, even if you were already dead. That, or they'd criticize you, but it'd be so on point that you'd feel bad enough to kill yourself.
- Taurus: Their bare hands, and they'd strangle you to death. They'd stare into your eyes intensely as they suffocated you to death, maybe even adding in a few dramatic "I got you in the end, you know." phrases while doing it.
- Gemini: It all depends on what is convenient for them to use as a murder weapon- they're clever, so they'd figure it out quickly. Most cannibals are Geminis, so they'd probably eat you afterwards. If you really fucked them over, maybe they'd cut off your hands and watch you bleed to death, probably laughing while doing it.
- Cancer: They'd take you to the beach and find a secluded area only to tie you to a boulder in the shallows of the beach and watch the tide slowly drown you and sea creatures start to pick at your helpless/crying for help corpse.
- Leo: They'd make a whole sport of it- they'd find a bunch of really sadistic, fucked up people on the black market and put you in a pit filled with big cats (especially lions), you'd here "let the games begin!" and a spotlight would come on the death pit as your torn to shreds.
- Virgo: They'd make it look like an accident somehow. Regardless, no one would ever find out that they did it, because they'd cover their tracks well enough.
- Libra: Similar to the virgo one, but they'd definitely pretend to be distraught by what happened, and mask that they were involved really well...but in order to get you back, they'd get your family, your friends, and other people you cared about to show THEM sympathy, and to be on their side.
- Scorpio: Succinolcholine injection after chloroforming the person helpless. (sp? A horse tranquilizer that is extremely hard to detect and basically make the person POWERLESS to do ANYTHING except suffocate to death. It makes all muscles go soft.) and they'd talk to you about how powerless and helpless you were until you died.
- Sagittarius: beating the shit out of someone until they were literally an unrecognizable bloody mass.
- Capricorn: Shooting someone in the head, mafioso style. They'd want it to be quick and clean, and they'd have organized a team to cover for them, dump the body, and probably hired virgo to hide the evidence.
- Aquarius: It'd either be something really strange, whacky, and off the wall, like killing someone in the middle of a play by planning to have a stage light dropped on them, or they'd make an example of you in front of a bunch of their "followers" which they'd most likely have if they were crazy enough to kill.
- Pisces: They'd capture you and play surgeon, the whole time ranting and raving about "how it feels" to feel pain as intensely as the emotional pain that they feel. They'd make sure that the kill took a long time so that they had a captive audience for a long time- another reason they'd prolongue it is they'd enjoy being the predator instead of the victim for once.
Which badass weapons the Zodiacs would use.
Capricorn Characteristics and Profile
(December 22 - January 19)The sure-footed Mountain Goat can climb to higher altitudes than any other mammal. And you sure-footed Capricorns are also well-suited for climbing. Capricorn sets high goals for yourself and then you overcome whatever obstacles may appear between you and the top of your personal mountain. As Capricorn climbs the ladder of success, your ambition pushes you forward. Status can be important to Capricorn and often, at the top of your game, you gain personal satisfaction by knowing that others respect you for what you have accomplished.
Capricorn can dance out on the edge of a cliff, but will never fall. Why? Stability plays an important role, but so does practice. As a typical Capricorn, you may appear reckless, but chances are that your actions will have been very well planned, and probably also rehearsed. Capricorn is always calculating what will happen if you do something. You Capricorns are energetically conservative, only expending enough to get you to where you want to be. No silly impulsive actions for you. This is your best insurance to get to the top of the mountain.
The Capricorn motto might be Milton Berle’s “If opportunity doesn’t knock, then build a door.” But this doesn’t mean that if there are no mountains to climb that you must build the mountain. For you, hardships can be your path to fulfillment, but for the sake of happiness, it would be good for you to learn to appreciate what you have, instead of always striving to reach the next plateau.
Element: EarthEarth signs are naturally practical. In this lifetime we are bound to Earth. There is no escaping the reality around us. The Earth is about as real as it gets; it can be felt, weighed and it has substance. Accordingly, the earth signs base their life on what is real, not what is imagined. Sensation is valued over thoughts or feelings. Earth signs live with their feet on the ground. Others seek their advice because of their basic sensibility. For earth signs, seeing is believing.
The earth of Capricorn is that of foundation and structure. It’s about having a stable base so we don’t build our life on shifting sand. Even the great mountains earth, and if it weren’t for their foundational integrity, we couldn’t climb upon them.
Tenth House: CareerThe Tenth House is the House of the Father. It is where we pursue the outer world, which is often related to our career. This isn’t about our personality. It’s about how the outer world sees us through the role we play in it. It is here, in the Tenth House, that we look to find out about status and recognition.
Key Planet: SaturnSaturn, the ringed planet, is etymologically tied to the word “Satan.” But, as demonstrated in the Tarot, the “Devil Card” is not a bad card. It’s only difficult if we’ve made the deal with the devil that we believe the physical world is all there is. Saturn is the planet of boundaries and limitations. If we succumb to those limitations, we are doomed to live within the laws of cause and effect. But if we do the hard work of spiritual practice, we can be rewarded by the wisdom that exists beyond the material plane. As the key planet for Capricorn, Saturn does symbolize that we get what we deserve. Take shortcuts in life and we’ll meet up with problems later on. But if we do things with integrity, then the rewards will be ours.
Your Biggest Strength: Your ability to overcome obstacles
Your Potential Weakness: Too much work and not enough play
Guys. You guys.
You guys listen.
Capricorns? Fucking. Hot!
Gah damn…. unf…. YOU NEED TO GET BACK HOME NOW!
Got bored at work….AGAIN
Scrollin’ through meaningless web pages that aren’t blocked by the county and stumble upon Zodiac pages. Zodiac amuses me, not a religious thing, but it’s interesting.
Reading up and laughing at all the Taurus crap and sitting there like “… heh, that’s true…. heh, so is that…” Which leads me from one sign to another. I start looking up people I know by their birthdays and doing more “heh, true” like comparing Ruger to the Pisces she is, and Jenny the Cancer, and how they all get along with Taurus.
Then I notice the Capricorn and I’m like “Holy shit, I need more Capricorns in my life! Awesome sign is awesome”
So I start researching the Capricorns and their birthdays. I’m really getting into it now. I’m that bored. And it hits me, right in the middle of all the radio chatter. Ludwig’s birthday is January 8th. He’s a friggin’ Capricorn.
And I just sat there, gaping at the screen. It fit him so well, down to the books. It was all so creepy. And then I just started getting so upset. It just keeps falling on me.
I lost everything I’ve ever wanted.
I was hit so hard I had to call a code three for radio silence. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t think. I just shut the door and the stupid window and just sat there trying to keep it together.
I gotta find something to keep my mind off of this. For good. It’s like I’m drowning and forgot how to swim. It’s so painful and it lasts and lasts…
More like “Put ‘em up or shut up” hahaha I like this
“Has One noticeably Untaimed locke of hair”
MORE LIKE EVERY FUCKIN’ ONE
But ch’yeah…. bill fits. (Man I wish we wore uniforms to work, then I wouldn’t have to worry about what I’m wearing the next day.
Damn u job and forcing me to act like such a girl)