Willst du mitkommen?
I could sit here and ramble on about my self but that would bore even the most forbearing of us. But allow me to bring you up to speed. I'm just starting to figure out this business most call family -In doing so I've met some pretty amazing people along the way. Come join me as I awkwardly navigate through this conundrum known as life finding family, friends, and a home while trying not to be arrested, lost, or killed in Deutschland. Still learning deutsch alongside my man Ludwig. Let's watch and see what happens -Wir wollen gehen!
Spamming more jokes from the book~ This is a long one…
European paradise:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by an Englishman. Food is prepared by a Frenchman and an Italian puts you in the mood and everything is organised by a German.
European hell:
You are invited to an official lunch. You are welcomed by a Frenchman. Food is prepared by an Englishman, a German puts you in the mood but, don’t worry, everything is organised by an Italian.
DYING!!
(Source: katurtlewastaken)
I have always wondered but never asked…
What do people mean when they say “Old High English” or “Old High German”
What the hell does “Old High” mean?
Is it like an era? I know it probably has to do with HOW they spoke/wrote/communicated but what’s the difference between “Old High English” and “Old English”?
- Old English (Anglo-Saxon): Eft he axode, hu ðære ðeode nama wære þe hi of comon. Him wæs geandwyrd, þæt hi Angle genemnode wæron. Þa cwæð he, "Rihtlice hi sind Angle gehatene, for ðan ðe hi engla wlite habbað, and swilcum gedafenað þæt hi on heofonum engla geferan beon."
- Middle English: In þat lond ben trees þat beren wolle, as þogh it were of scheep; whereof men maken clothes, and all þing þat may ben made of wolle. In þat contree ben many ipotaynes, þat dwellen som tyme in the water, and somtyme on the lond: and þei ben half man and half hors, as I haue seyd before; and þei eten men, whan þei may take hem.
- Early Modern English: But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief, That thou her maid art far more fair than she Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green And none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, O, it is my love!
- Modern English: Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.
- Pointless dribble: Omg, lol, def totes ridic, c u ltr
- Tumblr: A3ruI#$uo13urq8o3U#$QRJFAKELFJQEjfkasdjfklqjRJ#@J@#KLJ$JFSGDDFJFIdSFI45jkjr!!!!!!1111
Hey, Ludwig, guess what?
Mature is pronounced Ma-CH-ure, not ma-Tour
-still love ya bro
Ok, I will be honest, I’m up for trying anything once, especially if there’s a good chance of it being good per word from a native. So we picked a few of these up at Publix because Simon swore they were the BEST sweets from across the pond. So I’m thinkin’ yeah, okay, you say they’re good you haven’t really failed me before besides haggis (which I think is a taste you have to acquire)
THIS WAS BAD -I don’t wanna be blunt but there’s no better way to put it. Me and Snapper took a bite and were gagging for at least half an hour. Even Iakov thought it was bad. So nothing against this or anything, but man, these were bad.
Heads up.
Ever had one of those days where your fingers forget how to type the English language
What is spelling?
Screw you, Irish is not British.
^^ gonna have to go with this bro
As an American, not speaking for ALL Americans -just this one, when I say “British” I mean from Britain. When I want to refer to someone’s accent, let’s say Simon, from Scotland, I’m gonna say “He’s got a Scottish accent” (Not he’s got a British accent because I know that’ll piss him off and he’ll come after me with a butcher knife)
Saying British accent and trying to group Wales, England, Scotland, and Ireland together is like saying you have an American accent and grouping Texan, Eastern, Western, Louisianian, Southern, Northern, Midland, Minnesotan, etc ALL together.
So when I say “British accent” I mean BRITISH ACCENT
Not Scottish
Not Irish
Not Welsh
If I meant otherwise I would say otherwise
Ya know, jus’ sayin’
Fixed my southern-American accent
been practicing my Scots and finally put it to use this morning So instead of Madainn mhath (good morning) sounding like May-tun-vawl it’s now more like matin va (even though when I hear it I’m like where did the other seventeen letters go?)
I don’t think I have a deep southern accent, honestly, maybe a brush here and there when I talk, but Christ! It’s like I just can’t make these sounds, like I’m chewin’ on friggin’ taffy and evary wourd sounds lik ah’m just beat dead tahd and my hehutage just comes powan out. Stop. Stop going Aldo Raine and get your “ùin”s, “och”s, and “eàrr”s right and open your mouth!
Tighten up! Stop slackin’ your jaw and move your damn throat!… that sounds bad, doesn’t it? But it’s the truth. American accents are different because all the noise comes from the front of our mouths, trust me on this I now know what the hell Simon was talking about when he first described it to me. It’s like we’re so scared of opening our mouths and making articulations that we just use like 20% of our mouths, and just the front half. Whereas Brits/Scots/Irish/Wales (thought I’d forget yawl, didn’t ya?) use their WHOLE mouth -mainly the back. Their voice comes from the back of their teeth, their tongue forms the words in the back instead of just shoving them out.
It’s… difficult to understand at first, but if you really listen to how we talk vs they talk it makes more sense.
English
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, “s” will be used instead of the soft “c”. Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy.
Also, the hard “c” will be replaced with “k”. Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced by “f”. This will make words like “fotograf” 20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent “e”s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” by “z” and “w” by ” v”.
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou”, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place…
Best part is, didn’t see it coming and read it all out loud *giggle/snort*
