Scrollin’ through meaningless web pages that aren’t blocked by the county and stumble upon Zodiac pages. Zodiac amuses me, not a religious thing, but it’s interesting.

Reading up and laughing at all the Taurus crap and sitting there like “… heh, that’s true…. heh, so is that…” Which leads me from one sign to another. I start looking up people I know by their birthdays and doing more “heh, true” like comparing Ruger to the Pisces she is, and Jenny the Cancer, and how they all get along with Taurus.

Then I notice the Capricorn and I’m like “Holy shit, I need more Capricorns in my life! Awesome sign is awesome”

So I start researching the Capricorns and their birthdays. I’m really getting into it now. I’m that bored. And it hits me, right in the middle of all the radio chatter. Ludwig’s birthday is January 8th. He’s a friggin’ Capricorn.

And I just sat there, gaping at the screen. It fit him so well, down to the books. It was all so creepy. And then I just started getting so upset. It just keeps falling on me.

I lost everything I’ve ever wanted.

Over.

And

Over.

I was hit so hard I had to call a code three for radio silence. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t think. I just shut the door and the stupid window and just sat there trying to keep it together.

I gotta find something to keep my mind off of this. For good. It’s like I’m drowning and forgot how to swim. It’s so painful and it lasts and lasts…