Creepy noises and animals outside were nothing to me.
Now I’m lying here WIDE AWAKE creeped the FUCK OUT by this humansized owl sitting out side hooting like it has the lung capacity of a fucking tanker!
I don’t miss tucker by any means.
I just miss being able to scurry down the hall and scamper into a much less empty bed, squealing my head off like there was a wolf chasing me down the hall, and curl up knowing there wasn’t some giant owl sitting in the tree outside hooting at me all night.
THERE ARE A DOZEN OTHER TREES ON THIS STREET, OWL! YOU REALLY NEED THAT ONE?!
Scrollin’ through meaningless web pages that aren’t blocked by the county and stumble upon Zodiac pages. Zodiac amuses me, not a religious thing, but it’s interesting.
Reading up and laughing at all the Taurus crap and sitting there like “… heh, that’s true…. heh, so is that…” Which leads me from one sign to another. I start looking up people I know by their birthdays and doing more “heh, true” like comparing Ruger to the Pisces she is, and Jenny the Cancer, and how they all get along with Taurus.
Then I notice the Capricorn and I’m like “Holy shit, I need more Capricorns in my life! Awesome sign is awesome”
So I start researching the Capricorns and their birthdays. I’m really getting into it now. I’m that bored. And it hits me, right in the middle of all the radio chatter. Ludwig’s birthday is January 8th. He’s a friggin’ Capricorn.
And I just sat there, gaping at the screen. It fit him so well, down to the books. It was all so creepy. And then I just started getting so upset. It just keeps falling on me.
I lost everything I’ve ever wanted.
I was hit so hard I had to call a code three for radio silence. I couldn’t answer. I couldn’t think. I just shut the door and the stupid window and just sat there trying to keep it together.
I gotta find something to keep my mind off of this. For good. It’s like I’m drowning and forgot how to swim. It’s so painful and it lasts and lasts…
Socialism:You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
Communism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucratism:You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
Traditional Capitalism:You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
An American Corporation:You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A French Corporation:You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
Japanese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
An Italian Corporation:You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A Swiss Corporation:You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
Chinese Corporation:You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
An Iraqi Corporation:Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
Counter Culture:'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
Surrealism:You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Fatalist:You have 2 doomed cows...
A West-Country Corporation:You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
A Brazilian Corporation:You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
Moffat:You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
An Irish Corporation:You have a million cows because they're everywhere
Tumblr:You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.